Aiden is eight years old. He has two sisters; one older, and one younger. He has lived in eight apartments and in two different domestic violence shelters. His Mom and Dad fight and yell pretty much every day. He tells us, “When I grow up, I want to be a police officer! Know why I wanna’ be a police officer? Because then I can see my Dad… he’s in jail…he’s always in jail.”
Aiden was a toddler when we started working with him and his family. At first, we took baby steps - gaining his trust and teaching him basic skills to stay safe. We knew he said he wanted to be a police officer, yet when it came right down to it, he was deathly afraid of them – after all they were the ones who “took” his Dad. They were the ones that showed up with guns. They were the “bad guys”. Aiden’s Dad had threatened that the cops would lock Aiden up if he didn’t listen. “The cops will get you” is what he was told, and he believed it.
One HOPE’s Kids Count program goals is to teach safety planning to all the kids they serve. How did they manage do this with this boy – who was so afraid that he flinched when he heard police sirens and tried to hide when we drove past police cars? HOPE’s Kids Advocates took it one step at a time. They gained his trust by showing him that they were people he could confide in, laugh with, and play with. They went trick-or-treating at a police officer’s house, invited police officers to support group, and got the local police department to donate a bike for Aiden - and made sure he knew that a “cop” gave it to him. The Advocates showed him that police officers were safe people, and eventually Aiden’s fear of cops lessened enough that when asked if he wanted to tour the local law enforcement center he said “yes!”
Advocates told him every detail imaginable about the planned trip so there would be no surprises. Ten minutes after being in the Law Enforcement center, Aiden began to relax and ask questions. “My Dad is in jail.” he told one of the officers. In a calm voice, the officer asked “What’s his name?” The conversation began, and you could almost feel Aiden relax as he began to realize that police officers were not there to hurt him – they were there to help him. The police were slowly becoming someone he could trust.
About a month ago, Aiden’s Mom and Dad got into another fight. Not knowing what to do, tired of all of the hurt, he started to cry, went upstairs, and called 9-1-1. Aiden’s Daddy is his “hero,” and calling the police to prevent his Dad from hurting his Mom was huge step forward in ending the cycle of violence in Aiden’s home.
The police came and arrested his father for domestic assault. A couple of days after the arrest, staff called law enforcement and asked if they would go back to the home and visit Aiden. This time the visit was all about the little boy – to tell him they were proud of him, and to explain that it must have been hard to call 9-1-1, but that if he ever needs to call again, he can.
This past December Aiden went holiday shopping with the local police department for “Shop With A Cop Day.” They snapped a picture of the group of kids and cops – and in the back row is Aiden - with a big smile on his face, sitting on the shoulders of his new friend, Officer Marty Kelly.
HOPE’s team of advocates continue to work with Aiden’s family (and others like them) in order to build a trusting and safe relationship that will lead to a life of non-violence. We help kids like Aiden understand that child abuse is not their fault, and that when they become parents they can chose a life free of abuse for their own children. By planting seeds of information and hope in the minds of these children, we are helping to break the cycle of violence.
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